A society more connected with a family unit growing apart… this is 2013

Bringing the phone to the dinner table

This is a topic that I love discussing with older people. Yes we are growing apart and are more connected than ever. I think I can share some reasons why and my intention is for a very important debate to take place and people think about this and how to fix it. Older generations are convinced that they lived in a better society. My opinion is definitively we live in a better society now but there are trade offs and some things we must look at and improve. Lets go on a point by point basis by the statements people use:

  • We live in a far more violent society: My answer to that is NO! We are a more informed society. Internet connects us instantly to everyone everywhere thus the information overload makes us feel that we are more violent. On the contrary our civil rights and laws for women, minorities and other bigotry that used to be out of control is no more. Violence against women for example continues but it is most definitively not as it used to be 50-60 years ago. Women now speak up they got strict protection laws and divorce is a great option know which allows her to redo her life. This applies to racism, anti-Semitic and other things that were very wrong.
  • We are loosing our family values: This in my opinion is TRUE. Why? Here goes my analysis on a very complicated subject. The root cause is two simple points:
  1. The evolution of religions place in society: Religion had various roles that shouldn’t be part if it as an institution such as political, ethical and social psychology roles. Religion has been evolving as we as a society have been developing the right mechanisms to deal with this other roles that religion used to carry, as an indirect result of this people have generated anti religious behavior. The only problem with that is that religion used to be a system that united us as a society were we distributed systematically our ethical / social responsibility and moral values. As a society we haven’t developed a social responsibility curriculum which provides these tools that the religion gave us. There is a way of course of providing these tools and we need to develop the curriculum and educate our new generations with it. Without that we will be a society in a detrimental path as we loose our values and go back to prior stages that as a society we already evolved.
  2. The change in women’s role in the family unit: 50 years ago women had a super important role: FAMILY INTEGRATION. This has been the greatest issue that we have that’s has put a dent in our progress in values as a society. Women used to take care of the kids. Forget about cleaning and taking care of the house, the biggest value that a house wife had was providing the best education that a growing kid can have, that was having ethical values, good morals, good manners, this women had time to care about these matters and this was a crucial different factor between how my grandpa was raised and how I was raised. As a society women’s now work, they provide economic support to the household but we as a society haven’t transferred that role effectively to a split position between the parents. Social responsibility course needs to embrace the family unit and how we work know. Families are no longer father / mother based. Many times there  are big changes now step dad, steps sisters, step mother, step brothers gay parents raising straight child’s and many more scenarios. Our education system needs to have a social responsibility program that takes care of moral values, the family unit, our roles as neighbors, coworkers and other very important roles. Most definitively we have to look at the HUGE GAP that women have left in our society stepping out from their roles.
  • Computers do damage to those kids: NO THEY DONT! Yes kids are more prone to be connected to the TV, PSP, Computer, Ipad and other gadgets. Why?? Well because of their parents fault. Do we generationally have a sickness and its the gadgets fault NO its the parents fault. They use the devices to shut up the kids so they can have time off from their busy lives. Understandable yes, the equipment’s / technology fault no. Parents need to be parents. They need to with love win their kids attention, they have to make it interesting and engaging to have family time. Parents need to take time to eat at the table again, not because its tradition but because they love spending time with their kids and they want to communicate this in this activity. If we communicate our love to our kids and foster this behavior in them, I have no doubt that they wont want to text or use their ipads in the table. Remember this, ITS THE PARENTS JOB TO WIN THEIR KIDS WITH LOVE AND COMUNICATION don’t blame the devices. I have won this fight in my household, If you give it a try and see what really motivates your kids, spouse or whomever uses the cellphone or device to step out mentally of the table you would engage them.

My thoughts when analyzing all this facts is that yes we need to improve but there is a big problem of PERCEPTION. If I can share something that people need to think is that if we have a positive point of view then we can work to improve our society with more motivation understanding that the majority of the people are good spirited. We have to realign out thoughts in a big point that is that NO WE ARE NOT MORE VIOLENT, WE ARE MORE INFORMED. And yes need to improve and that is our task to do in an individual level and with our kids, family members and all who you interact with. I think we must change our thoughts of leaving a better planet for our kids to leaving better kids for our planet. That is the only real contribution that as a group we can do.

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